Lentil Breakdown Turns Five!

Can I get a high five? If you can't muster the strength, I'll understand. This little blog has had plenty of days like that over the past few years. Okay, most days. But think of it as the Energizer Lentil. Still going. Sure, it's down to a sputter, but it still has a little get-up-and-go. Then when lentils are involved, you usually have to get up and go.

What's changed over the last five years? After discovering several food intolerances and radically altering my diet, I've become more focused on health and the state of our food supply. That's why I ask the hard questions like, "If 'natural flavor' is so natural, why doesn't it go by its real name?" 

So in honor of the leguminous occasion, I thought I'd share a couple of top five lists. Some of the results are surprising. If you missed these posts the first time around, don't worry. There's no expiration date. In fact, if they taste funny, it means they've aged well.

Lentil Breakdown's Top 5 Posts by Page Views 

1. How to be a Bad-Ass Anti-GMO Activist

2. Chocolate-covered Mint Leaves

3. Starving Artist Series: Beet Hummus

4. Travel Bite: Portobello Road, London

5. Travel Bite: Turkish Viagra

Top 5 Posts by Number of Comments

1. My Healthy Girl Scout Cookie Makeover

2. My Frugal Royal Wedding Canapés

3. My Chelsea Clinton Wedding Menu

4. What Lettuce Type are You?

5. Six Degrees of Al & Tipper’s Separation

Thanks for coming, and as long as I'm still going, I hope you'll be here for my next Lentil Breakdown.

Related Links:

Lentil Breakdown Turns One!

Lentil Breakdown Turns Two!

My Therapy Session with Dr. Sigmund Food (the Intervention)

Food Forward Field Trip to McGrath Family Farm

Though I grew up in Texas, I was no farm girl. In our house, “farm to table” meant watching Green Acres over a Swanson's meat loaf TV dinner. Farms were what we saw and smelled through the windows of a gold Delta 88 when we drove across state. But after starting this blog and studying our food system for the last five years, my inner farm girl was starting to emerge. 




I had been wanting to volunteer with Food Forward, a Southern California food-rescue group, and picking organic tomatoes seemed like the perfect opportunity. This hardworking nonprofit gleans fresh, local produce from private properties, public spaces and farmers’ markets that would otherwise go to waste and distributes it to people in need. The Food Forward credo revolves around Fruitanthropy: The picking, donating or distributing of fruit for humanitarian purposes. 



So I decided to take on L.A. rush-hour traffic on a Wednesday morning and make the hour-plus drive to McGrath Family Farm in Camarillo. Carbon footprint be damned. I was on a fruitanthropic mission. 



Top: tomatoes; Bottom: kale and fennel

McGrath Family Farm is located right off the 101 freeway in Ventura County in the thick of a $2 billion-dollar-a-year agriculture industry. The county's top crops are strawberries, avocados, raspberries, lemons, celery, tomatoes, peppers, flowers, nursery stock and cilantro. In a region teeming with pesticide use, McGrath has been a staunch practitioner of organic farming for five generations. With its deep topsoil, the perfect climate to grow year-round crops, and generous community outreach, the farm is a revered leader in the organic community. I worried about the freeway air looming over the heirlooms, but what can you do? When McGrath started, there was only farmland. A freeway moves in, and there goes the neighborhood.




McGrath sells a wide variety of produce directly to restaurants and farmers' markets, from strawberries, tomatoes, corn and squashes, to beans, stone fruits, citrus, greens and root vegetables. They also offer a community supported agriculture (CSA) program, educational farm tours, a u-pick farm for picking your own produce, and a roadside market. I was excited to buy some lima beans that were picked that day. Who knew these simple limas could be so fresh, so lovely and so who needs the French Laundry when I've got this bowl of beans?



It was last call for tomatoes, and we were there to pick all the heirlooms, cherries and Early Girls we could since the remains would be destroyed the next day. It was sad to see all the fruity road kill go to waste when they could've become a gleaner's gazpacho, but we had to move on to the ones that showed more promise. 



Bend…squat…sweat...repeat. Once I started picking, it didn't take long to see that farmworkers are about a 12 on the thankless job meter. It was a mere 80 degrees outside, but what's it like when it’s 100 under all those heavy, protective clothes?  



Working on an organic farm like McGrath must be like hitting pay dirt to a farmworker, as laborers on conventional farms face dangerous exposures to toxic pesticides with no adequate safeguards. Many groups are trying to get the Environmental Protection Agency to implement a worker protection standard for farmworkers like they have for other job sectors.



Not only do farmworkers have the lowest annual incomes of any workers in the U.S., one dies every day, and hundreds more are injured. Roughly half are undocumented immigrants—many living in substandard housing who can't afford to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. 



Those in favor of deportation should try working in the fields for a day. Maybe they'll see what it’s like to risk everything to put food on someone else’s table.



Thanks to McGrath Family Farm and Food Forward, there will be food on even more tables.



Over 800 pounds of tomatoes



Want to harvest food, fight hunger and build community? Go on a fruit pick or volunteer with Food Forward at your local farmers' market.

Related Link:

Hope on a Farm in Watts

On Health, Mötley Crüe and My Chemical Stew

Credit: iStockphoto / dmitryphotos

This article originally appeared on the food site Zester Daily.

I hope you don’t think it’s rude, but I’m restoring my gut flora as I type. Ever since I discovered that 90% of my health lives in my gut, I decided to take action. At this very moment, I’ve got 10 probiotic strains and 100 billion live cultures on my stomach’s stage. I’m trying to revive my good bacteria because the warm-up act was some heavy-metal thrashers.

I got tested for heavy metals, at my doctor’s behest, to see what was causing my liver congestion and inflammation. Turns out I have too much Alice Cooper. Sure, I have Freddy Mercury, Lead Zeppelin, and other Metallicas too, but my high volume of Alice, or aluminum, concerns me the most since my dad had Alzheimer’s. I’d like to detox, but not with one of those generic, kale-me-now juice cleanses. I want a chelation plan that’s tailored to my individual chemical body burden, or as I call it, Toxic Life Overload (TLO).

We all have TLO. I’m not special. The only difference is that I peed in some plastic jugs for two days and now I’m acquainted with the whole Mötley Crüe. The fact is, we live in a chemical stew of toxic food, water, air and products that we clean with, sleep with and slather on our skin.

Industrial chemical pollution begins in the womb. Lead, mercury, pesticides, BPA and up to 232 industrial chemicals have been found in umbilical cord blood of newborns. The Environmental Working Group tested over 200 people for 540 industrial chemicals and found 482 of them in their bodies. In 2010, the President’s Cancer Panel declared that the number of cancers caused by toxic chemicals is “grossly underestimated” and warned that Americans face “grievous harm” from largely unregulated chemicals that contaminate air, water and food. 

Is it a coincidence that over the last 30 years, the autoimmune epidemic has nearly tripled to over 100 diseases? Approximately 50 million Americans, or one in five people, suffer from autoimmune disease — 75% of them women — from MS, lupus, Crohn’s and Celiac to chronic fatigue, thyroiditus, rheumatoid arthritis and psoriasis. 

But I’m starting to think that knowing my TLO is TMI. I thought knowledge would lead to prevention, but I’m too busy worrying about Quiet Riot sneaking up on me to prevent anything but a good night’s sleep. From every BPA plastic container to each GMO corn kernel, I hear those Black Flag, Anthrax and Megadeth songs screaming in my head. 

Most diseases arise from the interaction between a person’s genetic make-up and the environmental agents that he or she is exposed to. Yet I’ve been reading up on the new science of Epigenetics, which is the theory that your thoughts and beliefs can alter your gene expression. I’m talking major shifts in cellular activity leading to physiological changes. Optimism, altruism, visualization, healing energy, meditation and prayer are all said to have epigenetic effects. 

Dr. Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief asserts that genes and DNA don’t control our biology—that DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including the energetic messages emanating from our thoughts. Deepak Chopra claims there’s more and more evidence of the mind-body connection, and that we can transform our own biology by responding to all that we experience, including thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. He says that regardless of the genes we inherit, change at this level allows us almost unlimited influence on our fate.

Does that mean if I change the way I think, my dad’s Alzheimer’s won’t necessarily be mine? But what about Alice Cooper? Even though he’s not in my genetic makeup, he’s still in my blood. Thank god he’s not in my makeup. Who needs all that black and white shmutz on their face? Hey, was that gratitude? Maybe it really works!

Okay … here I go. I’m changing my tune. From now on, this Twisted Sister is gonna be more Pharrell Williams. Sure, his songs are lightweight, but at least they’re not heavy metal. If I could just turn down the volume, it might be music to my gut.

Because I’m happy … clap along … sing this song and turn off that Mötley Crüe …Happy … clap along, sing this song and stop stressin’ ‘bout the stew…

Borscht Belt Salad (with Beet, Cucumber and Dill)

Why's it called the "Borscht Belt Salad?" Funny you should ask.

Remember Henny Youngman—that old Borscht Belt comedian with the violin and famous one-liners like, “Take my wife...please!”? The legendary Jewish comic got his start on the New York Catskills comedy circuit, aka the Borscht Belt, that was popular from the 1940s through the 1960s. Well, when Henny's wife, Sadie, said to him, “For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before,” he said, “Try the kitchen!” 

So in honor of Mrs. Youngman's culinary lethargy, I created this simple salad inspired by the refreshing essence of borscht. Vibrant beets, cool cucumber and herbaceous dill conspire as loudly as Henny's out of tune violin to announce big, babushka-like flavors. It's so easy to throw together, even Sadie wouldn't have minded making it. It shouldn't taste funny, though. I left the funny to Henny.

Beet, Cucumber and Dill Borscht Belt Salad

Equal parts beets, cubed, quartered or sliced 

Equal parts unpeeled organic cucumber, cubed, quartered or sliced 

Handful of fresh dill, chopped

Vinaigrette

¼ cup olive oil

1 ½ tsp white wine vinegar

½ heaping tsp Dijon mustard

½ medium shallot, minced

Sea salt to taste

Steam or roast beets till fork tender. Peel and let cool. Cut beets and cuke in same size shapes—either cubes, wedges or slices. Add vinaigrette and dill. Let chill for half an hour and serve. 

The Borscht Belt Salad first appeared (sans recipe) in the post, A Job Farewell: Nine Years and Nine Salads. 

Lazy Figger's Fig and Banana Sorbet

I'll come right out and say it: I'm figgin' lazy. Yep, I'm a lazy figger. So I took the easy route with this fig and banana blender sorbet. I also took liberties by calling this vegan, sugar-free, frozen fruit mixture sorbet since most sorbets are full of sugar. Some store-bought ones even have corn syrup. But my sweet thang doesn't answer to a sugar daddy. She's assertive, self-reliant and whole. And since I'm a healthy figger too, I didn't boil away her nutrients. I simply put raw fruit in a blender and called it a day. Then a sorbet.  


A tasty but figly (figgin' ugly) concoction 

But before I called it a sorbet, I called it a spoonie. You know, a thick smoothie you eat with a spoon. If you prefer it unfrozen this way, be my guest, but please don't call it sorbet. That would be a violation of Lentil Breakdown fruit nomenclature.

Being a cheap figger, I'd normally think twice about sacrificing a cup of precious, pricey figs to a lazy figger sorbet when I could just as lazily enjoy them au naturel, which entails no risk. But after I scored a flat of fresh figs from the California Fig Commission last year and made my chocolate-dipped figs with hazelnuts, I became emboldened to take more chances. And after attending this year's Figology Fest—a creative fig shindig hosted by Erika Kerekes and Judy Lyness, I received the fig bounty that made me the lazy figger that I am. There's no shame in being a lazy figger. Especially when your sweet thang's in the raw without her sugar daddy.

Fig and Banana Sorbet

¾ cup frozen banana chunks

1 cup fresh Mission or other brown figs cut up (not frozen)

2 TBSP canned light coconut milk

A few ground cardamom seeds from one pod

A handful of pistachios

Put frozen banana chunks, fig chunks, coconut milk and cardamom in the blender. Blend until smooth, but leave visible fig chunks. Top with pistachios.

Eat now as a spoonie or freeze in a pint container for sorbet.

Makes about 2 servings. 

Related Links:

Ode to a Fig Leaf

Fig Crostata

Banana Yogurt Spoonie

My New Superfood is Gonna Save the World

This article originally appeared on Zester Daily and MSN Food & Drink.

I’m browsing the superfood aisle at Whole Paycheck, wondering if the companies that sell these products just discovered they’re super or they’re food. They discovered they’re superprofitable—that’s for sure. High in antioxidants or other powerful nutrients, their chia and hemp seeds, cacao nibs, maca powder and goji berries are going for $18 to $25 a pound. And South American acai, camu and maqui superfruit powders sell for a whopping $80 to $138 a pound! Apparently there’s nothing dense about the marketers of nutrient-dense foods. But since there’s no USDA certification for superfoods, who’s to say my maca’s not mediocre? I don’t see any scientists using the term “superfoods,” and critics say there are plenty of whole foods that are really and truly nutritious. 

Still, there must be some authority deeming these foods so super. I’m picturing this superfood czar in a corner office of the jungle surrounded by mountains of seeds, berries, roots, nuts and nibs with a big, red rubber stamp that says, “SUPER!” 

Hey, I’m as good a judge of super as the next foodist. Maybe I could cash in on this new cash crop! I’m thinking the best way to do it is to discover my own superfood. First I’ll pick a country—one that’s outside the superfood spotlight yet has vast jungle offerings. There are already Brazilian and Amazon superfoods; Incan, Andean and Aztec superfoods; Turkish, Persian, Kashmir and Chinese superfoods; Mediterranean and African ones, too. 

Hmmm…Bhutan might work. It’s got amazing biodiversity with the Himalayan mountains, rainforests and jungles and is still largely untouched by the West. They must have something I could forage to make my fortune. I can already see a jungle-to-table logo on the packaging. And since the Bhutanese are Buddhists who coined the term, “Gross National Happiness,” they should be pretty chill over my intention. But berries and seeds are so last year. Wouldn’t it be neat if I could find a berry and seed superfood in one? A berryseed would be the super-est food ever! 

Yep, I’ll swoop into Bhutan, find all the berryseeds, form a corporation, get the local women to harvest them, create a women’s cooperative, and then donate 10% back to them and claim my company is all for their benefit. Oooh…I like it. I just need to get Fair Trade, USDA Organic and Rainforest Alliance certifications, and I’ll be on my way. It shouldn't be too hard. I'm sure there are lobbyists swarming that corner jungle office. I can hardly wait to hobnob with the palm oil-maker mucky-mucks at trade shows in Indonesia. I'll be the Koch sister of sustainability. I’d hate to give up this lucrative career as a food blogger and all, but the world is awaiting my product for health, healing and happiness—all while benefitting an underserved community—me!

                               

I’m thinking I’ll sell more product if I can pinpoint exactly what it’s so super for. Maybe I’ll search for a berryseed that curtails lethargy in women. What a lofty, pro-planet goal! When my superfood cures this debilitating symptom, women will have enough energy to make the same wages as men. Yessss! After the Bhutanese women spend a few back-breaking seasons picking and harvesting my berryseeds, lethargy in women and income inequality will be totally eradicated! First I’ll empower the Bhutanese women—then I’ll empower every woman on the planet! Watch out, world! Women are coming to save humanity from Greedy Guy Syndrome!

Well, I better get packing. Let’s see…gardening gloves, mini shovel, BPA-free container for my berryseeds and, oh yeah, my Dzongkha Bhutanese dictionary. I wouldn’t want to say anything culturally insensitive when I demand access to my berryseeds. I want the Bhutanese people to know I understand and respect them—that we’re all equals on this sacred planet. Well, except for women. But with my berryseed twofer, we’ll be one soon enough.

Saving womankind feels great! I don’t know why I waited so long! Really, you should try it! But pick another country for your superfood. Bhutan’s mine.

The Simple Truth: Marketing Gone Coconuts

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine who was going out of town gave me an open carton of Kroger’s Simple Truth coconut milk that he didn't want to go to waste. I glanced at the ingredients and blurted out, “You want me to drink this? Do I look like Vladimir Putin’s food taster?" Then I stood there reading the ingredients aloud with such oratory gusto, I could have been vying for the Toastmasters crown. 

"Coconut milk (filtered water, coconut cream, xanthan gum, carrageenan, guar gum), evaporated cane syrup, calcium carbonate, carrageenan, natural flavor, gellan gum, vitamin A palmitate, ergocalciferol (vitamin D2), cyanocobalamin (vitamin B12). 

Contains: Coconut!" I said with an ironic, final flourish.

He stood in stoic silence. "What did I ever do to you?" I said. "Was it the time I dragged you to that raw, vegan place? I thought you really dug the raw-sagna! Were you just faking it like that cashew cheese?" Suddenly he had to leave. Something about an ingrown hair he needed to take care of before his flight the next day. 

So I stood in stoic silence, holding a carton of coconut-like liquid that had violated my sensibilities. The simple truth is most of those faux milks are full of faux food substances in which I can easily detect the foe. Take natural flavor—that lab-concocted additive that adds flavor to prolong a product's shelf life. It tastes too real to be true. Yep, it’s got too much real in it. Frankly, If I wanted more real, I’d just have seconds on the real real. Oddly enough, this Simple Truth line of foods from Kroger and Ralphs goes so far out on a truth limb to brand itself as the healthy messiah, its message, Free From 101, is to tout all that it's not. Here's a screen shot from the website:

By emulating this brilliant marketing strategy, I figure that I can cash in with my own line of products. I haven't figured out what I'll sell yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something. In the meantime, my marketing copy is ready. Investors: get out your checkbooks. Cha-ching!

*Coconutmilk ingredients listed are for the sweetened one. The one in my photo is no longer on the website.

Related Links:

My Wine is Cuter than Your Wine

The Food Safety Inspector