Rib-tickling Pumpkin Coconut Soup

Did you hear the one about the pumpkin and the coconut?

A pumpkin and a coconut walk into a kitchen, and the pumpkin says to the cook, “Make us some soup.” So the cook says, “If you want to be a Martha Stewart recipe, I’ll make you really rich, then I’ll dump the stock.”

Ba dum bum!

A pumpkin walks into a kitchen with a coconut and says to the cook, “Make my friend and me some soup.” So the cook says, “If you want to be a Bernie Madoff stock, I’ll make you really rich, then I'll cook the books.”

Ba dum bum!

Whether you're busting a gut with uproarious laughter or bellyaching about how Lentil Breakdown needs a new writer (not to mention a new cook), you can see there are as many ways to put the funny in that joke as there are ways to put the flavor in this soup. Like a good joke, a good soup needs a strong setup, punchline and delivery. Think of the setup as the soup base, the punchline as the spice, and the delivery as your timing. (Note: a soup should never taste funny or it will make you a laughingstock.)

I made this pumpkin coconut soup by roasting the pumpkin in olive oil and sautéing onions, garlic and ginger in a little olive oil and butter. Since I tend to cook on the low-fat side, I only used water and light coconut milk. For a heartier, more flavorful soup, I suggest using vegetable or chicken broth. For a richer flavor yet, you could use regular coconut milk instead of light. If pumpkins aren't in season, try butternut squash. You can also substitute my trifecta of cumin, coriander and cardamom with curry powder or garam masala. And for more of a Thai taste, you could use lemongrass and fish sauce. Which reminds me.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a Thai cook? The Thai cook didn’t inhale lemon grass.

Ba dum bum!

Recipe

2 ½ pounds roasted pumpkin chunks or butternut squash, juice included

1 TBSP butter

1 TBSP olive oil + more to roast the pumpkin

1 large onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1-inch piece of ginger, minced

1 ½ tsp cumin*

1 ½ tsp coriander*

1/8 tsp cardamom*

1 ½ tsp salt

4 cups water** (+ more later to thin it out)

1 14 oz can light coconut milk

Shredded unsweetened coconut and cilantro sprigs for garnish

*You can use crushed seeds, but use less than powdered spices. Taste as you go.

**Vegetable or chicken broth can be substituted for water

Cut pumpkin or butternut squash in chunks or wedges, slather it in olive oil and sea salt, and roast it in a pan or two in a 400-degree oven until it is caramelized.

In a Dutch oven, sautée onion till soft, then add garlic and ginger. Add Pumpkin, spices, salt and water. In a few minutes, add the coconut milk. Cook for about 20 - 30 minutes over low heat. Taste as you go. Add water if necessary. When it's almost done, purée in a blender or food processor and put soup back in pot. Adjust seasonings if needed and cook a little longer if adding more spice. Garnish with coconut and cilantro.

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Vegan Blue Posole by Candlelight

Hello darkness my old friend. I’ve come to dine with you again.

I'll be the first to admit this is not the most attractive soup. On the ugly soup meter, it scores about an 8.5. But it's so tasty, in a dimly lit room, who's going to judge? Trust me, it's the most wonderful, earthy dish you won't want anyone to see. When you bite into that vibrant, chewy New Mexican maize, you'll see how amazing it is. Plus, you and your insatiable soup-loving significant other can both go back for thirds and the other one won't have to know. A dark room, two pigs and a pot of posole. Now that's my idea of a romantic dinner.

But before you call the grease police on me, I must tell you this only looks greasy. Believe me—I'm not into big oil. If you think I want BP getting its greedy, greasy paws in my posole, you're grossly mistaken. I kept big agro out of it too, by making it vegan, adapting the recipe from the package of posole that I got at the Santa Fe School of Cooking when I visited there (you can buy it here). I cut the heat by only using half the chile powder it called for ('cause I'm a wuss that way), but I added cumin seeds for extra flavor. I used vegetable broth instead of chicken broth, and I substituted olive oil for canola. And when the broth and the oil met that glorious chile powder I got in Chimayó, they all turned an irridescent orange. Sure, it may look like Chernobyl, but it tastes like Chimayó. And that's the important thing, right? That, and you won’t have to do your hair and makeup for dinner.

Recipe

¾ pound (2 ½) cups) posole, picked over for any dirt or stones

3 TBSP olive oil (you can use less if you want to eat in broad daylight)

1 ¼ cup chopped onions

1 TBSP minced garlic

1 - 2 TBSP pure ground Chimayó style red chile powder (start with less and add more if you need to)

4 cups vegetable stock

1 teaspoon toasted and freshly ground coriander seeds

1 teaspoon toasted cumin seeds

salt to taste

½ cup coarsely chopped cilantro*

Place cleaned posole in a large pot and cover with cold water by 3 inches. Cover and simmer for 2 to 3 hours, adding water as needed until kernels are soft and beginning to burst. Drain and rinse well. Heat oil in a large pot and sauté the onions until golden. Add the garlic and sauté for 1 minute. Add the posole, chile powder, stock, ground coriander and cumin and ¼ cup of the cilantro and simmer for 30 minutes. Add the salt and continue cooking for 30 minutes. Stir in remaining cilantro, taste and adjust seasonings.

*D'oh! I forgot the cilantro!

Serves 4 - 8, depending on how dark the room is.

Roasted Cauliflower and Red Lentil Soup

You might call this surprising combination The Accidental Lentil.

I admit it. This unpredictable pairing was not some grand design by my overachieving uberpalate. It was pure serendipity, thanks to a fridge full of leftover cauliflower eager to escape four cold walls and hop a freighter to Mumbai. Sure, a big shout-out goes to Ms. Cauli Flower, but I'm taking full credit here for this hearty, Indian-inspired comfort concoction.

I’ve made my own version of red lentil soup many times, but in this instance, I had on hand some cauliflower florets and garbanzo beans I had roasted in olive oil and curry powder with cumin and coriander seeds. I figured since the spice stars of this soup are cumin and turmeric (ok, there's also Ginger Spice, and maybe Posh), the pre-seasoned cauliflower would blend nicely. Plus, I'd have a vacancy in my fridge I could sublet.

What I gleaned from this leftover derring-do is that red lentils don’t mind sharing the spotlight. I would venture to say you could put any vegetable in this soup, like squash, eggplant, mushrooms or peppers (in Turkey they use rice or bulgar), and it would be yum with a capital Y. You can omit the cauliflower altogether—and to be honest, I would probably delete the garbanzos—but if you have something on hand you want to use up and you think it would co-exist harmoniously, have at it. The red lentils won’t mind. They’re really magnanimous that way.

Recipe

1½ cups red lentils

6-8 cups water (start with less and add more if needed)

1 small-medium onion, chopped

2 large garlic cloves, minced

½ inch fresh ginger, peeled and minced

1 large carrot, diced

2 cups cooked cauliflower (optional) in small florets

2 tsp cumin seeds

1 tsp coriander seeds (optional), crushed with mortar and pestle

1½ tsp cumin powder

2 tsp turmeric powder

1-2 TBSP olive oil

Salt to taste (start with ½ tsp)

Black pepper to taste

In a Dutch oven, sauté the onions in olive oil until golden. Add the ginger, garlic, cumin and coriander seeds and sauté for two more minutes. Add the carrots, then the lentils and coat with the oil. Add the water and spices and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer for about 40 minutes. Add cooked cauliflower or other vegetables about 10 minutes before it's done. Cook soup longer if you think it needs it, and correct seasonings as you go. Either purée in a food processor or serve as is (pictured here was not puréed).

Makes 4-5 servings

Potato-Fennel Soup

You say potato, I say po-tah-to and fennel.

This low-fat, rich-tasting meal in a bowl is peasant fare at its finest. I don’t actually know what constitutes peasant fare, but I'd venture to say any peasant would give his last potato and fennel bulb for this.

I’ve been making this enchanting soup from Mollie Katzen’s Moosewood Cookbook for years, and it just keeps getting better with age (that makes one of us). Browned onions, potatoes, minced fennel, and caraway seeds are a truly inspired combination.

I’ve made a few tiny tweaks, but nothing major. Since caraway seeds play a large part in the soup’s complex character, I double what the original Mollie Katzen recipe calls for. I also like to maximize the delicious, aromatic fennel flavor as a counterpoint to the caraway, so I up the ante there too, with 1 to 2 cups. (One can never have too much boiled fennel. Am I wrong?) I usually just get the largest bulb I can find and don’t fuss with the measuring. I'm telling you—this soup has so much flavor from so few ingredients, you’ll be peasantly surprised.

Recipe

1 TBSP butter or olive oil

4 cups thinly sliced onions

2 tsp salt

4 medium potatoes (average fist-size), not necessarily peeled, and sliced into thin pieces 1 to 2 inches long

1 - 2 cups freshly minced fennel bulb (the largest bulb you can find)

1 tsp caraway seeds

4 cups water

white or black pepper, to taste

Makes 4 - 5 servings

Heat the butter or oil in a kettle or Dutch oven. Add the onions and 1 tsp salt. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, for about 15 to 20 minutes, or until the onions are very soft and lightly browned.

Add the potatoes, the rest of the salt, the minced fennel bulb, and the caraway seeds. Sauté over medium heat for another 5 minutes, then add the water. Bring to a boil, then partially cover, and simmer for about 45 minutes (the potatoes should be tender and almost falling out of their skins).

Taste to adjust salt; add pepper. Serve hot, topped with a decorative swirl of thinned sour cream and/or minced feathery fennel tops.