'Nip 'n Cheese (Grain-free Turnip Mac 'n Cheese)

I indulged in some cheese with a turnip and I'm feeling a little guilty. I mean it's not like I cheated with my best friend's husband or anything. What am I—a skank? The cheese was organic and pasture-raised. Who knows where her husband's been. Still, it is cheese, and it comes with a large carbon footprint. But then my friend's husband wears a size 12 shoe. So I'm told.



Eating a plant-based diet comes pretty natural to me, but sometimes I just have to succumb to my baser urges. Not by going all paleo cavewoman. I’m talking cheese skank. As a flexitarian, I limit my intake of animal products, so when certain foods are an occasional treat, it doesn’t take much to drive me wild. A simple root vegetable dressed in a skimpy dairy negligee can send me over the moon. Geez, if a little cheese can do that, I wonder what some red meat would do.



Unlike my savory pickled turnips, these 'nips are exceptionally sweet. Though I went easy on the cheese and milk, even without them, the tender, layered turnips would melt in your mouth. I'd simply substitute the dairy and guilt for some virginal olive oil and change the name to something a little more chaste. I’m thinking, “Tender, Gently Laid Turnips.” It's a skankless job, but someone's gotta do it.



'Nip 'n Cheese (Grain-free Turnip Mac 'n Cheese)

2 pounds turnips (about 10 medium), sliced in thin rounds
½ medium minced shallot
1 cup grated organic Monterey Jack or Gruyere cheese (I used Jack)
1 cup low-fat organic milk (1 or 2 percent) or dairy alternative
Salt and pepper, to taste
Pinch of smoked paprika (optional)
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
Olive oil to grease the pan

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Clean and peel the turnips. Slice thinly into rounds. Grate cheese and mince shallot.

Generously grease a 2-quart gratin or baking dish with olive oil. Layer 1/3 of the turnips, 1/3 of the shallots, a little salt, pepper and smoked paprika (if using) and 1/3 of the milk and cheese. Repeat, making three layers. Top with cheese; sprinkle with paprika and parsley.

Cover with foil and bake for about 30 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for another 20 minutes or until golden and the milk is absorbed. A fork should easily slide in and out of the turnips when done.

Let rest about 15 minutes. Serves 4.

Lentil’s Breakdown

According to the Environmental Working Group’s Meat Eater’s Guide to Climate Change, 1) lamb, 2) beef, 3) cheese and 4) pork generate the most greenhouse gases. That means vegetarians who eat dairy are guilty of contributing to the third-highest emissions, pound for pound! D'oh!

The aforementioned offenders also have the most fat, creating the worst environmental impact because meat and dairy production requires large amounts of pesticides, chemical fertilizer, fuel, feed and water which generate greenhouse gases, toxic manure and other pollutants.

Grass-fed, organic and pasture-raised meat, eggs and dairy are the greenest and healthiest. Though more expensive, when you eat less of them, they're more affordable. 

If you eat meat, look for:

• Grass fed or pasture raised
• Lean cuts
• No antibiotics or hormones
• Certified organic
• Certified humane
• Local
• Unprocessed, nitrite-free and low sodium

If you eat dairy, buy lower fat and organic such as:

• Cream cheese
• Part-skim or fresh mozzarella
• Gouda
• Feta
• Muenster
• Cottage Cheese
• Non-fat yogurt 

It's easy to make meatless and cheeseless Mondays a part of your weekly routine. And on at least two other days, why not make meat a side dish. For more info, visit the Meatless Monday official site.

Related Links:

Pickled Turnips

I Prefer the Company of Cheese

Roasted Squash and Hazelnuts (A Nonrecipe)

Could Squash and Hazel be any clearer? They cannot dwell within the dictates of a syllabic society that obstructs their free will. Death to the pixel oppressors! The only thing they will categorically agree upon is being drizzled with hazelnut oil and given a few cracks of sea salt.



Kabocha, Acorn, Delicata, Butternut, Carnival or Sweet Dumpling? Whatever. Squash is squash (but don’t tell Squash I said that).

Let me reiterate: Roasted squash, roasted hazelnuts, hazelnut oil and cracked sea salt is not a recipe. It’s a dance on the palate. A sate of the plate. It’s mindful meditation for the mid-section. It’s vegan, paleo, kosher, non-GMO, gluten- and recipe-free. It’s breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Squash and Hazel have made their demands. If you agree to their wishes, enjoy.

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Lentil Squash-salad Boats
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Pickled Turnips

Hello. Have we met? You may have run into me at a falafel stand. Well, maybe not me, but a member of my tribe. They call us torshi (pickled vegetables) in the Middle East. You can find us in the Balkans and throughout the Mediterranean too. We really get around. 

Here I am when I was just a bare-naked turnip. How embarrassing. You can see I needed a bikini wax. Is that why I'm not popular among Brazilians? How come carrots get all the root-vegetable love? Hey Brazil: I'm hot stuff too!

But I can't take all the credit for my sex appeal. A fresh beet is what gives me my pink pulchritude and girlish glow. Vinegar and garlic add to my tantalizing tang and babe-alicious bite.

People love me in a pita with falafel and tahini. They say I cut the grease from the falafel. But with Lentil Breakdown’s No-Feel-Awful Falafel, there is no grease, so you might not really need me. But after you keep me around for a week, I know you'll want me. I'm seductively salty, savory, sour and satisfying. Oooh. You'll want me bad.

Pickled Turnips (recipe adapted from David Lebovitz)

3 cups water

1/3 cup kosher salt

1 or 2 bay leaves

1 cup distilled white vinegar

2 pounds turnips, peeled

1 small beet or a few slices from a regular-size beet, peeled and cut in half

3 cloves garlic, peeled and thinly sliced

1. In a saucepan, heat about one-third of the water. Add the salt and bay leaf, stirring until the salt is dissolved.

2. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature. Then add the vinegar and the rest of the water.

3. Cut the peeled turnips into batons, about the size of French fries. Put the turnips, beets and garlic slices into a large, clean jar (I needed two jars—see my notes below), then pour the salted brine over them in the jar(s), including the bay leaf.

4. Cover and let sit at room temperature in a relatively cool place for one week. Then they can be refrigerated until ready to serve.

Notes:

I used two jars for this amount: one pickle jar and another mason jar the size that spaghetti sauce comes in. I added another bay leaf to the second jar.

The pickles will keep for several weeks in the refrigerator. They are not only good alongside falafel, you can serve them in a Mediterranean meze platter or any appetizer tray.

        

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No-Feel-Awful Falafel

Beet Hummus

Edamame Hummus

Black-Eyed Pea Hummus

Roasted Eggplant Spread

Thanksgivukkah Miracle-of-Light Green Beans

This year I'm thankful for not having to eat that heavy, old-school green bean casserole. Sure, I liked it when I was 12, but I also loved Bazooka bubble gum and Danny Partridge. Now that I’m 29, I think of Durkee french fried onions and Campbell's mushroom soup as shameful skeletons in my closet next to my mug shot, ankle bracelet and love letters to Charles Manson. Oops. Did I say too much?



I know I need not expound upon the vegan, vegalicious virtues of these green and yellow beans, caramelized roasted peppers and garlic, and earthy shiitake mushrooms. They speak for themselves. In fact I hear the red, yellow and orange bell peppers are tri-lingual. And much tastier than that illiterate, white-trash green bean casserole. So why be a slave to tradition when you could be the master of your thighs, domain and discriminating palate? Well, at least the palate, anyway. Besides, I'd rather do my fat-loading elsewhere. Too bad I discovered I'm gluten- and egg-intolerant. But now's not the time to get maudlin—I have a blog post to finish.

The recipe, an encore presentation from an earlier post, was originally titled Roasted Green Beans, Peppers and Garlic. But as you can see, you may easily roast some shiitake (or cremini) mushrooms along with the other vegetables to add a deep, robust dimension. This year I'm thankful for the bounty of fresh food that surrounds me in fertile, farm-rich Southern California. What are you thankful for?

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Lentil Squash-salad Boats

Lentil Squash-salad Boats

All aboard the USDA Organic Delicata.

As far as squash boats go, this one is see-worthy, light and won't weigh you down like those Titanic types. So if you’re jonesing for some beefcake like Leo, you’d best board another boat. Even with its deep flavor, this hearty vegan dish is really quite delicate, hence the name of the squash: delicata. And since it's organic, you can also eat the skin—a plus for lazy seafarers. But if the delicata doesn't float your boat, you can use any other squash that floats, like butternut, acorn, kabocha, a pumpkin or even your garden-variety zucchini. 

If you're a landlubber, you can skip the boat altogether and eat this earthy Lentil Squash Salad on good old terra firma—or better yet—a plate. What makes it so earthy and lubbable? It's the robust yet visually camouflaged capers, bold marjoram, caramel-y roasted garlic, zesty sun-dried tomatoes and a zingy Dijon-shallot vinaigrette. Wow, that was a boatload of adjectives.

While you may attribute this Lentil Squash-salad Boat’s brilliance to its shipbuilder (and it would indeed be fitting), it was quite a serendipitous journey. After I had roasted butternut and delicata squash halves and put some of them into the salad, there were two empty delicata vessels just sitting there that I knew could easily transport luscious legumes to the mouth of a hungry river. The Colorado? The Mississippi? The Nile? No, the mighty Lentil Breakdown! Lentil Squash-salad Boats can be served cold, room temperature or warm.* 

*Lifejacket not required

Lentil Squash-salad Boats (vegan and gluten-free)

2 small organic delicata squashes*
3 cloves garlic

Olive oil

1 cup dried French green lentils

1 heaping TBSP sun-dried tomatoes (not in oil)

2 tsp of capers

¼ teaspoon marjoram

Salt and pepper to taste

Vinaigrette**

¼ cup olive oil

1 TBSP red wine vinegar

1 tsp Dijon mustard

2 tsp minced shallot (about half a medium shallot)

Preheat oven to 400º. Cut squashes in half, discard seeds and insides, then rub flesh with olive oil as well as the three garlic cloves (still in their skins). Place squashes flesh down on a cookie sheet along with the garlic, add a little salt and pepper and roast.

Boil lentils in salted water for about 20 minutes until al dente but chewy. Drain and let cool. Make vinaigrette. When squash is soft, remove from oven and let cool. Cut up one of the halves into small chunks and mince the roasted garlic (may be a bit soft, but try to evenly disperse in salad. Golden and crunchy is good too—but not burnt). 

When lentils are cool, add garlic, squash chunks, capers, marjoram, about 2/3 of the vinaigrette and salt and pepper to taste. Adjust seasonings if necessary. Let sit at least an hour.

* I used butternut squash also in the salad, but it’s not necessary.

** This makes more vinaigrette than you’ll need. Use the leftover for salad dressing.

Lentil’s Breakdown

According to the United States Department of Agriculture, certified USDA organic means:

Organic crops. The USDA organic seal verifies that irradiation, sewage sludge, synthetic fertilizers, prohibited pesticides, and genetically modified organisms were not used.

Organic livestock. The USDA organic seal verifies that producers met animal health and welfare standards, did not use antibiotics or growth hormones, used 100% organic feed, and provided animals with access to the outdoors.

Organic multi-ingredient foods. The USDA organic seal verifies that the product has 95% or more certified organic content. If the label claims that it was made with specified organic ingredients, you can be sure that those specific ingredients are certified organic.

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Vegan Tzimmes and Apologies to Grandma

Stewed carrots, sweet potatoes, apples and dried fruit looks homely but tastes heavenly.

Dear Grandma,

I haven't seen you in 30 years, but I can't forget the tzimmes you used to make with the carrots, sweet potatoes, dried fruit and short ribs that was to die for. I couldn't wait to visit you when I was a kid and watch you in action. You were the queen of kosher cuisine in that little Dallas apartment of yours. But I'm not really down with the short ribs these days. So Grandma, I hope you're still lying down because I've gone and done something that'll make you roll over in your grave. I made your beloved tzimmes without meat or dairy. Yup, Grandma, it's vegan (I'll explain what that means to you later).

By the time I got around to asking you for the recipe, you were deep into your Lawrence Welk phase and busy repeating what you had said five minutes earlier. Not that there's anything wrong with that other than the recipe was mostly stored in your sweet, yet unreliable head. But I found some of your notes in your big recipe file, and I made it once, years ago, with the short ribs. Mmmm. I can still recall the moment the fatty carrots and sweet potatoes slid down my throat. And I mean slid, Grandma. It was so rich, it could've paid for my tuition at the Culinary Institute for the Guilty. See, in the last 30 years, they discovered something called clogged arteries and another thing called factory farming (What do you mean, feh?).

So while this isn't really your recipe, Grandma, the inspiration was all you. And with the fruit and a little coconut oil, it's delectably sweet and satisfying even without meat, butter or sugar. And the good news is it's both rabbi- and PETA-approved. So you can stop rolling over now.

Sleep well,

Your Guiltless Granddaughter

Vegan Carrot and Sweet Potato Tzimmes

As a main or side dish, this tzimmes is pareve for any course.* 

Makes about 6 healthy servings.

Coconut oil

½ large onion, diced

1 pound carrots, cut in rounds diagonally

1 pound sweet potatoes, peeled and cut in rounds diagonally

1 pound apples, (sweet like Gala) peel optional (I left them on), cut in ½-inch cubes

1/3 cup golden raisins

1/3 cup dried apricots, quartered

1 medium orange, zest and juice

½ tsp cinnamon

A few tsp water

Sautée the onion in a little coconut oil until they’re lightly browned. Add the remaining ingredients, stir and bring to a boil. Cover and reduce heat to a low simmer. Cook for 45 minutes to an hour, stirring occasionally. You can add salt and pepper if you want. I didn’t think it needed them.

*Even makes a good breakfast or dessert

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The Bubbie Brigade and the Circle of Life