Friday, November 4, 2016

Black Bean Collard-People Tacos

Before you accuse me of being a culinary racist, let me remind you that this hateful plateful is from my eCookbook Trump at the Table. It's not me, it's him! 

No, it's not really this impressive, but what's one more lie when you're living in Trumpistan?

If you haven't had the good fortune of going to Trump University, striking it rich and donating a billion to my pay-what-you-want eBook, what are you waiting for? Visit the site, behold the brilliant copywriting, and download your way to culinary LOLz. Oh, and try these tacos. Hate never tasted so great. Believe me.

Black Bean Collard-People Tacos 

Donald loves collard people—and they love him. Just ask Ben Carson. Or better yet, ask these tacos! They’ll tell you that sautéed garlicky collard greens, earthy black beans, sweet butternut squash and vibrant guacamole inside a raw collard leaf makes one towering taco! Like Trump, it’s totally unpredictable and rich. You won’t even miss the tortilla. After all, when Donald builds his wall, who’s going to make them? But you won’t need illegal masa-making Mexicans to build this taco when you’ve got hard-working collards. Don’t believe Donald when he says “laziness is a trait in blacks.” Orange-complected squash and green guaca-money all nestled in tight with the blacks proves Donald is a man of the collard people.

1 butternut or acorn squash 
Olive oil

6 organic collard leaves

1 clove garlic, minced 
1 BPA-free can of black beans (or 2 cups fresh), drained 
1 large avocado

1 tablespoon onion, chopped

Handful of cilantro, chopped 
Cumin to taste 
Salt to taste 

Cut squash in half, remove seeds, rub with olive oil and roast face down on baking sheet in 400º oven. When cooked and cooled, scoop out the flesh. 

Cut two collard leaves in thin strips and sauté them in a little olive oil with minced garlic. Reserve the other 4 leaves for the “tortillas.” 

Heat the black beans. 

Whip up some beautiful guacamole with the avocado, onion, cilantro, cumin and salt. Make sure it’s tremendous. 

Take each raw leaf and fill with sautéed collards, beans, squash and guacamole.