My Chelsea Clinton Wedding Menu

An Introduction to HillBilly Kosher Cuisine.

At the celebrity wedding of the year, Chelsea Clinton—daughter of Hillary and Bill—married longtime beau Marc Mezvinski. The Methodist Arkansas bride and Jewish groom inspired me to create a new culinary fusion—HillBilly kosher (Think Tex-Mex, but with a yarmulke instead of a sombrero). As a Texas Jew, I felt uniquely qualified to create a menu that would satisfy both sides of the aisle.

Wine List

2012 Chateau You Never Take Me Anywhere This marriage varietal whine will not reach its peak until a few years after the wedding.

2010 Little Rock Vineyards, Cousin’s Blush A whole family of grapes intermarried in a single oak barrel

2009 Arkansas Sparkling All-White Wine This discriminating white has a pronounced racial profile.

Well Drinks

The Hava Nagila, Have a Tequila Cuervo Gold and seltzer served in an antique silver goblet with a Rolaids garnish

Appetizers

Bubba Ganoush Eggplant that’s been smoked in a foil packet in a car engine, mixed with tahini

Chicken-Fried Chopped Liver Mounds of chopped liver, dredged in flour and fried to a crunchy finish

Pickled Catfish Marinated catfish in vinegar and pickling spices, served with a whisker garnish

First Courses

Fried Chicken Soup A fried chicken leg resting on a matzo ball pillow in chicken broth

Biscuits and Lox and Gravy Buttermilk biscuits cut in half with lox, capers, tomato and red onion, smothered in gravy

Entrées

Deep-fried Gefilte Fish Ground carp, whitefish and pike mixed with matzo meal and egg, simmered in stock, then cooked in a deep fryer for a gefilte-fish crunch

Chicken-fried Brisket Bubbie’s brisket served Bubba-style, pounded and breaded to pan-fried perfection

Corned Beef on Cornbread New York deli-style corned beef served between two pieces of cornbread with a vibrant mustard butter

Shabbat Roasted Chicken on Collard Greens A quarter of a Sabbath chicken bathed and roasted in an Ashkenazi spice rub, served on a bed of collard greens that have been simmered in a pareve chitlin consommé

Sides

Macaroni and Cheese Kugel Velveeta and wide egg noodles topped with dried challah crumbs and baked until golden brown

Candied Yam Latkes Grated yams baked in brown sugar and butter, topped with marshmallows, then fried in patties

Black-eyed Peas with Kosher Ham Hocks The favorite Southern legume simmered in a smoky broth with special rabbi-ordained ham hocks

Dessert

Jewish Apple Wedding Cake with Fried Twinkie Ladyfingers The traditional Jewish apple cake is transformed into a multi-layered, monolithic white cake with Crisco frosting, surrounded by deep-fried Hostess Twinkie ladyfingers

Although the bride is vegan and probably ordered a special macrobiotic meal, I’m sure the guests would have enjoyed this cross-cultural culinary journey. Congratulations to Chelsea and Marc, and may there be many more HillBilly kosher meals in their future.