Monday, August 2, 2010

My Chelsea Clinton Wedding Menu

An Introduction to HillBilly Kosher Cuisine.
At the celebrity wedding of the year, Chelsea Clinton—daughter of Hillary and Bill—married longtime beau Marc Mezvinski. The Methodist Arkansas bride and Jewish groom inspired me to create a new culinary fusion—HillBilly kosher (Think Tex-Mex, but with a yarmulke instead of a sombrero). As a Texas Jew, I felt uniquely qualified to create a menu that would satisfy both sides of the aisle.

Wine List

2012 Chateau You Never Take Me Anywhere This marriage varietal whine will not reach its peak until a few years after the wedding.

2010 Little Rock Vineyards, Cousin’s Blush A whole family of grapes intermarried in a single oak barrel

2009 Arkansas Sparkling All-White Wine This discriminating white has a pronounced racial profile.

Well Drinks

The Hava Nagila, Have a Tequila Cuervo Gold and seltzer served in an antique silver goblet with a Rolaids garnish


Bubba Ganoush Eggplant that’s been smoked in a foil packet in a car engine, mixed with tahini

Chicken-Fried Chopped Liver Mounds of chopped liver, dredged in flour and fried to a crunchy finish

Pickled Catfish Marinated catfish in vinegar and pickling spices, served with a whisker garnish

First Courses

Fried Chicken Soup A fried chicken leg resting on a matzo ball pillow in chicken broth

Biscuits and Lox and Gravy Buttermilk biscuits cut in half with lox, capers, tomato and red onion, smothered in gravy


Deep-fried Gefilte Fish Ground carp, whitefish and pike mixed with matzo meal and egg, simmered in stock, then cooked in a deep fryer for a gefilte-fish crunch

Chicken-fried Brisket Bubbie’s brisket served Bubba-style, pounded and breaded to pan-fried perfection

Corned Beef on Cornbread New York deli-style corned beef served between two pieces of cornbread with a vibrant mustard butter

Shabbat Roasted Chicken on Collard Greens A quarter of a Sabbath chicken bathed and roasted in an Ashkenazi spice rub, served on a bed of collard greens that have been simmered in a pareve chitlin consommé


Macaroni and Cheese Kugel Velveeta and wide egg noodles topped with dried challah crumbs and baked until golden brown

Candied Yam Latkes Grated yams baked in brown sugar and butter, topped with marshmallows, then fried in patties

Black-eyed Peas with Kosher Ham Hocks The favorite Southern legume simmered in a smoky broth with special rabbi-ordained ham hocks


Jewish Apple Wedding Cake with Fried Twinkie Ladyfingers The traditional Jewish apple cake is transformed into a multi-layered, monolithic white cake with Crisco frosting, surrounded by deep-fried Hostess Twinkie ladyfingers

Although the bride is vegan and probably ordered a special macrobiotic meal, I’m sure the guests would have enjoyed this cross-cultural culinary journey. Congratulations to Chelsea and Marc, and may there be many more HillBilly kosher meals in their future.


  1. Oh dear me, I don't know where to begin, Lentil! You've positively outdone yourself here! I was rolling from the wine course alone ... and it just keeps on giving! LOL


    And, kidding aside, you might be onto something with that mac 'n cheese kugel. I suddenly find myself wanting a slice! :)

  2. Tears pouring down my face. This is a keeper.

  3. I was going to write, "What's funny about Crisco frosting?" as a joke, but then I realized somebody might think I actually liked Crisco frosting. I think I'd better leave the humor up to you, Adair, as you are sooo good at it.

  4. now that is just too funny!!! although some of those foods sound really good!!

  5. Diva and Dennis: I know what you mean about some of them being almost edible. I think the mac and cheese kugel and candied yam latkes could be winners. : )

  6. I feel that I am among friends here so I am totally comfortable admitting that I just wet my pants from laughing so hard.

    A truly mashugana mashup!

  7. You are hilarious!! Such wit, i love it. Adair, you should go on stage with this!

  8. Brilliant, but you went over the edge with the kosher ham hocks. Nowhere did I see grits and they really do have wineries in Arkansas. Not that it is great wine but considering the market...not bad.

  9. MMB: I'm flattered my humor opened the floodgates.
    Marla: Thanks. Not sure what stage would have me. Stage 4?
    FM: Yeah, I thought about grits, and I see your point about the kosher ham hocks. I kid Arkansas. Actually went there a few years ago to the Clinton library and used to go as a child.

  10. This is hilarious. The question is...will you be making any of these theoretical dishes? It all sounds good!

  11. Where in world did you get a hold of their menu ;0 GREG

  12. Now that the wedding and diet are over for Bill, I'm sure he'd be aching for some fried HillBilly grub.

  13. Brilliant, Adair, Brilliant. I laughed all the way through . You have made my day. I can envision your putting this all together ala Julia Child for a TV show with a mostly Jewish audience who would have to be rolling in the aisles. Love and delicious wishes, Marilyn

  14. Is it wrong that I actually want to try most of these? I'm a South Carolinian Episcopalian married to a wonderful Jew, and this menu would seriously fit with our "Shalom, y'all!" aesthetic.

  15. Magpie: It might be wrong to try these today as it's Yom Kippur. : ) Thanks for visiting!