Starving Artist Series: Edamame Hummus

Welcome back to the Museum of Modern Appetizers (MOMA).

You have entered the Edamame Hummus exhibition. I hope you enjoyed the Beet Hummus show. Students and seniors are still free, but if you didn’t buy the $100 annual membership for unlimited visits to Lentil Breakdown, there is another $12 suggested donation. Just leave your credit card number in the comments below. If you contributed before, I still have your 16 digits, ‘k?

Please don’t touch the art or the alarm will sound. Let us begin.

This colorful Edamame Hummus on a Cheater’s Lavash Cracker canvas is an interpretive work from the Japanese school of Soybean Arts. The immature soybean replaces the garbanzo bean from the popular Legume school (technically the soybean is a legume, but they represent two different hummus movements). A cool, green palette is punctuated by forest-green flecks of cilantro for an eye-popping presentation and full-bodied bite. Like the vibrant Beet Hummus, lemon zest brightens the work, and olive oil creates a lustrous finish—if like most artists, you choose to use oil as your medium. The edamame on its own is rather muted, so plenty of chopped cilantro, coriander, cumin and lemon zest are essential to balance the composition.

This Edamame Hummus in green can be curated with the complementary Beet Hummus in fuchsia for a glorious group show. In fact, it's likely the artist will be so fêted, a film will be made in her honor. That’s what happened to an artist who worked with fish. You may have seen the movie—Pollock.

Starving Artist Statement

“Ahem. Did you read my starving artist statement from the Beet Hummus exhibition? If so, then why do I still have this day job? Pony up, rich benefactors! How do you expect me to create masterpieces like this when I’m cooped up in a corporate cube all day? Sure, groveling is unattractive, but the future of culinary art is in your hands, wealthy patrons. Ok. Gotta go eat some of this art history-making hummus. Am still starving.”

—L.B.

Edamame Hummus Recipe

½ pound frozen shelled edamame (1 ½ cups)

¼ cup sesame tahini

¼ cup water

½ tsp lemon zest, grated

¾ of a lemon, juiced (about 3 tbsp)

1 garlic clove, chopped

¾ tsp salt

½ tsp cumin

½ tsp coriander

2 tsp olive oil

½ cup packed cilantro, chopped

Boil the beans in salted water for 4 to 5 minutes.

In a food processor, purée everything except the olive oil. Taste and adjust seasonings if needed. When mixture is smooth and with the motor running, drizzle in the oil until it’s absorbed.

Hummus will keep for about a week in the fridge.

Related Links:

Starving Artist Series: Beet Hummus

Cheater’s Lavash Crackers

Black-eyed Pea Hummus

Orange-infused Beets with Walnuts

Tri-colored Potato Salad Provencal

Sautéed Rainbow Chard

Starving Artist Series: Beet Hummus

Welcome to the Museum of Modern Appetizers (MOMA).

You have entered the Beet Hummus exhibition. Admission is free for students and seniors. For everyone else, there's a suggested donation of $12. Or a $100 annual membership to Lentil Breakdown will entitle you to visit as often as you like. Just leave your 16-digit credit card number in the comments below.

Please don't touch the art or the alarm will sound. Let us begin.

This vibrant Beet Hummus on a Cheater's Lavash Cracker canvas is a post-modern interpretation of the classic garbanzo bean hummus from the popular Legume school. The early, earthy work has been updated with a brilliant fuchsia palette and complex sweetness from blending fresh beets with the original bean medium. Lemon zest creates a bright, contrasting flavor for the ideal balance. Olive oil smooths out the thick impasto texture, creating a lustrous work with refined, velvety passages. For a dryer, matte finish, this last step may be omitted, however most artists choose to work in oil.

This Beet Hummus in fuchsia can be curated with the complementary Edamame Hummus in green (sneak preview above) for a glorious group show. Please come back soon, as the Edamame Hummus exhibit will be opening shortly.

Starving Artist Statement

"Sure, after creating this masterpiece, I got a show here at MOMA. But day jobs are for losers. So I am now accepting 'grants' from rich benefactors so I can stay home and cook up more tour de forces like this. The future of culinary art is in your hands, wealthy patrons. Ok. Gotta go eat some of this brilliant hummus. Am starving."

—L.B.

P.S. No pressure or anything.

Beet Hummus Recipe

2 medium beets

1 15 oz. can garbanzo beans

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/3 cup sesame tahini

¾ of a lemon, juiced

½ tsp (packed and heaping) lemon zest, grated

1 ¼ tsp cumin

½ tsp salt (may need a little more)

1 - 2 tsp olive oil

Steam or roast beets until tender. Peel and cool. Cut into several pieces. Zest the lemon.

Place garbanzo beans, beets, garlic, tahini, spices, salt, lemon juice and zest in food processor or blender and purée until blended. Adjust spices if necessary. Add 1 teaspoon of olive oil while the processor is running. Check consistency and taste. Add more oil if needed (the olive oil is to make the texture smooth. You can add more or less to your liking. If you want to save calories and have a dryer hummus, you can omit it completely and thin it out with a little water instead.)

Note: For these Cheater’s Lavash Crackers, I pre-sliced the lavash bread into squares before baking them and used two kinds of sesame seeds (black and white) for a more dramatic presentation. See link for recipe.

Hummus will keep for about a week in the fridge.

Related Links:

Starving Artist Series: Edamame Hummus

Cheater’s Lavash Crackers

Black-eyed Pea Hummus

Orange-infused Beets with Walnuts

Tri-colored Potato Salad Provencal

Sautéed Rainbow Chard

Ode to a Lover

My sweet, oh how you make me moan

When we are in my bed alone

My lust for you could not be clearer

Damn that kinky ceiling mirror

(Flourless Chocolate Cake shot at True Food Kitchen in Santa Monica.)

Travel Bite: Portobello Road, London

I went to Portobello Road, and all I got was this lousy blog post.

Sure, the Queen Anne chairs were quaint and the Victorian jewels were majestic, but I had bigger things on my mind than antiques. Like, where were the Portobello mushrooms?

Located in the Notting Hill district in west London, this narrow, two-mile road is a world-renowned antique mecca. Saturday’s Portobello Road Market is the big day when the hordes are out en masse, but the shops, galleries, cafes and produce market are open all week.

This popular road used to be a winding country path known as Green's Lane until 1740 when Portobello Farm was built in the area. Wouldn't you think a farm named Portobello would be fungi-friendly? Nope. It was actually named for the 1739 British victory in the battle of Porto Bello in Panama.

The market began selling food in the 19th century, and today the north end of the road has stalls selling fresh produce throughout the week. Here was my chance to conquer some Portobellos. But as a Panamanian might say, I got nada.

From the Duke of Wellington to the Edwardian butcher, this seemed like the real London. The main dance number from the 1971 Disney movie, Bedknobs and Broomsticks starring Angela Lansbury even took place here (filmed at a Burbank studio, of course). If that's not authentic, what is?

Yes, Notting Hill was filmed on this street, but don’t ask the locals about Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. Do people visit your 'hood and grill you about Aunt Bea and Opie? I wouldn't have minded some grilled Portobellos though.

Nice 'hood ornaments. How do you say chotchke in cockney?

Victorian terrace houses and independent shops reign, and the Friends of Portobello campaign is trying to preserve the street's history as the big chain stores threaten to move in.

Too late. This chain store called Poundland is like our 99¢ Only Store and where I suggested the Queen buy her canapé ingredients in My Frugal Royal Wedding Canapés.

The ultimate to-go window, this storefront had a unique pizza display. Were those 'shrooms Portobellos, or was that wishful thinking?

Conclusion: It's a great place to forage for anything but mushrooms.

Portobello road, Portobello road


Street where the riches of ages are stowed

Anything and everything a chap can unload

Is sold off the barrow in Portobello road

You’ll find what you want in the Portobello road (except Portobellos)

— Portobello Road by Robert & Richard Sherman

See a charming video of the song from Bedknobs and Broomsticks:

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uqw7jn1oxE

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TOYaEcgQS4&NR=1

Related Links:

My Frugal Royal Wedding Canapés

Travel Bite: Borough Market, London

Travel Bite: An English Breakfast Theory

Single Bite: Tea Time in London

Single Bite: Mendocino Mushrooms

My Frugal Royal Wedding Canapés

According to the New York Times, Queen Elizabeth is expected to lay out a modest spread of two-bite appetizers, or canapés, rather than a sit-down meal at Will and Kate’s Buckingham Palace wedding reception. Apparently the Queen is concerned over how the public would view royals who feast during a time of lingering economic pain. Coincidentally, the last time I was in London, I happened to pass this Poundland store in Notting Hill that’s like our 99¢ Only Store. So I’m offering my professional advertising services (pro bono of course) in re-branding her not-so-humble abode as the Palace of the People. And given the Queen's close proximity to Poundland where she can purchase the main ingredients, I’ve created five canapés that won't break the Palace bank. Because nobody likes an ostentatious queen.

The Beans on Toast Canapé

England's favorite Heinz Beans served on a bite-sized toast is a small nod to the beans-on-toast tradition that will appeal to the masses while saying, "I'm secure enough in my heritage to eat beans while packed in a palace with 650 people." The buck-tightening Buckingham Palace can chalk this canapé up to a quaint culinary custom rather than appearing as over-prudent pence-pinchers. Beans on toast is not my cup of tea, but then I’m sure the Queen wouldn’t much care for my Aunt Ruth’s Sweet Noodle Pudding. No offense taken, Your Majesty.

The Dal on Naan Canapé (a.k.a. The Slumdog Millionaire)

This Dal Makhani (Indian curried lentils) with a splash of yogurt raita and cilantro sprig on a mini naan bread is an economical homage to London’s large Indian population. The Slumdog Millionaire Canapé says, “Even though I’m in a palace, I prefer to slum it.” More legumes is also an effective royal strategy for clearing out the Palace so the slumdogs don't overstay their welcome. If the Queen could spring for some pricey shitake mushrooms, she could serve my resplendent Curried Shitake Lentils. But then that might be perceived as gastronomically garish.

The Low Tea Canapé

Inspired by the cucumber and watercress sandwiches served at a traditional high tea, I’ve created this Low Tea Canapé using low-quality ingredients. Canned salmon from Poundland replaces the hoity-toity smoked variety that one might erroneously expect at an affair of this magnitude. Sure, the canned stuff’s got all those pesky bones and slimy skin, but I’m sure the special deboning staff at the Palace will know precisely how to handle it. A slender shard of substandard salmon and a sprig of watercress perched atop a watered-down dollop of crème fraiche on a cucumber slice says, "I have fine taste, but I don't have to prove it. That would be vulgar. When you have a Timex, why wear your Rolex?"

The Can 'a Peas Canapé

The Brits love their classic mushy peas, so I put some on a crumpet to create these Can ‘a Peas Canapés. Batchelors Mushy Peas in a can are dried marrow fat peas that are boiled and artificially colored, but I’ve gone out on a limb and prepared famous Brit, Jamie Oliver’s refreshing Minty Mushy Peas using frozen peas instead. But I'm sure the Queen can find the canned variety for 99 pence at Poundland if the frozen ones are too extravagant. This canapé says, “One should never be pence wise and pea foolish. Go on and live a little."

The Lost Shepherd’s Pie Canapé

For the classic British dish to truly be called Shepherd’s Pie, it must be made with lamb, hence the shepherd. But I’ve lost the flock and strayed from tradition here since lamb would have broken the royal bank. So this shepherdless canapé is comprised of simple veggies and mashed potatoes on a cut-out crumpet bottom. It says, “I am a selfless sacrificial lamb by going meatless even though it’s not Monday.” Yes, starch is king here, but I bet the Queen likes carbs better than she liked the King. And unless her father was Elvis, can you blame her?

The Group Hug Canapé

While the bite-sized hors d’oeuvre known as an amuse-bouche loosely translates to palate pleaser, these Royal Wedding Canapés will be palace pleasers. A hearty congratulations and big hug to Wills and Kate, and may they enjoy a life rich in love and a moderate honeymoon at Motel 6.

Related Links:

Travel Bite: Borough Market, London

Travel Bite: An English Breakfast Theory

Curried Shitake Lentils: Hello, Daal!

Jamie Oliver’s Minty Mushy Peas

Mario Batali’s Spring Peas with Mint

My Healthy Girl Scout Cookie Makeover

Single Bite: Tea Time in London

Tea at the Tate, Tate Britain, London

While taking a break from the Turners, Gainsboroughs and Whistlers, I ordered a simple cup of tea at the Tate's museum cafe. Imagine what they would have brought out if I had ordered the high tea. A man in an Elizabethan collar to butter my crumpet? Either way, next time I'll be sure to wear my tiara. FYI, America: I could get used to being served my own pot of loose leaf tea with a stainless steel strainer and drip bowl. What's wrong with you?