Tuesday, June 24, 2014

American Empire Abroad, Part 2: Portugal

American emperor Ray Kroc brought his golden arches to Lisbon, displacing the natives from their terraced territory. 

The golden-arched empire brought golden glitz to the city of Porto in a strategy to convert the regal Port wine region into high-fructose cola territory.

The Kroc empire nabbed Italy's national beverage, brought it to Portugal, and anointed it the "Big Mac-chiato".*   

The empire then pillaged France's pastry with the "Big Mac-aron".*  

An American “Caesar” invaded Portugal, only to be ensconced in a power grab with his Mediterranean rival.

An American aggressor landed in Portugal, unleashing targeted submarines all over the country.

In what is commonly referred to as the "Dummy Diaspora," American Dummies were expelled to Portugal, although the majority still remain in their homeland.

*Big Mac-chiato and Big Mac-aron are the intellectual properties of Lentil Breakdown.

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