Thursday, February 17, 2011

Travel Bite: Crêpes (Palačinkas), Prague


When I visited the Czech Republic a few years ago, I was enchanted with Prague's old-world charm, most notably the landmark Charles Bridge. Commissioned by Czech king and Holy Roman Emperor Charles IV in 1357, this romantic bridge is the heart of the city, connecting the Old Town with Malá Strana, a historic district on the west bank of the Vltava River. Legend has it that egg yolks were mixed in the mortar used to bind the stone blocks to strengthen the bridge. Maybe all that good cholesterol is why the Charles has survived so many floods, including one in 2002—the worst in 500 years. Coincidentally, their crepes, also made with eggs, are still going strong too.


I had always associated crepes with France or the large Dutch pancakes I had in Holland, but it turns out that crepes are eaten all over Europe, Turkey, Russia, even in Argentina. While the word Creperie in this sign may have been geared toward a more international audience, a Czech crepe is traditionally called a palačinka.


Savory galettes like this are made with buckwheat flour, while sweet crepes use wheat flour. This huge chicken and mushroom-filled square was finally some geometry I could wrap my head and lips around. My mouth loved the new math!


I remember my first time. It was 1989. I met him in a little Paris bistro and it was true love. What a fella, that Nutella. Meeting my chocolate and hazelnut guy again in Prague brought it all back. He was still rich, dark and handsome (albeit a little more coiffed).


And then there was someone else after my heart—the organ grinder on the Charles Bridge. Granted, he was no Nutella, but he and his monkey were a couple of good eggs who had no doubt weathered a few storms.


When you stand on the bridge, you can see spectacular views of a city that celebrates its past while tastefully catering to tourism. It's a hard balance to strike, but Prague has maintained a steady footing. It must be the eggs.

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

My Therapy Session with Dr. Sigmund Food

Lately I’ve been having “issues” for lunch. Since my job moved next door to a big tech company that has a cafeteria with a salad bar and grill, I’ve become extremely conflicted over my food choices. At first I was thrilled to have access to it, but now I am questioning my sanity. So I made a visit to a respected Viennese doctor so he could help analyze my predicament. (Please note that Dr. Sigmund Food pronounces the letter “w” as a “v.”)

The Transcript:
Dr. Food: Vhat brings you to my couch today?
Lentil Breakdown: The salad bar. I know for the price, the ingredients probably aren’t organic, and it has opened up a can of worms.
Dr. Food: Vhat vurms?
Lentil Breakdown: Pesticides, genetically modified crops, growth hormones and antibiotics, for starters.
Dr. Food: Ah, fear of za unknown. Vhere does zees anxiety stem from? Between za vurms and za stems, it sounds organic!
Lentil Breakdown: Well, everything in the salad bar looks good to the naked eye, but I see the celery, bell peppers and spinach and think about how those three are on the Environmental Working Group’s Dirty Dozen list for the highest pesticide count. And I wonder where the large batches of lettuce and spinach are from. Could they have e coli? Were they sitting in some Con Agra warehouse before traveling 1500 miles on a Sysco truck? If so, how much fuel did it use to get here? Are there any items from Chile which consumes even more fuel or from China or Mexico with lax environmental regulations?
Dr. Food: I detect a leetle overactivity in za brain. Vhy must you assume za vurst? Ver your parents vorry varts?
Lentil Breakdown: Yes, my parents were worry warts, but not about this. I am creating my own legacy. And Dr. Food, I am not assuming the worst. I am voicing legitimate concerns based on facts. When I see the edamame beans and tofu and corn, I'm thinking that since they aren’t organic, they are from Monsanto’s genetically modified seeds. Only organic soy and corn are guaranteed to be GMO-free (Genetically Modified Organisms). Did you know that 91% of soy, 85% of corn, 88% of canola and 71% of cotton is genetically modified in the U.S. and we don’t even know it since labeling is not required?
Dr. Food: So? Vhat’s za vurst that could happen to us from zees seeds?
Lentil Breakdown: Haven’t you heard that this Frankenstein farming may be dangerous? According to the Institute for Responsible Technology, there are serious health risks associated with genetically modified foods, such as allergies, infertility, immune problems, faulty insulin regulation and changes in major organs and the gastrointestinal system. And the FDA is not even looking out for us! They just approved another one of Monsanto's GMO crops the other day—alfalfa! Doctor Food, it really bothers me when we buy GMO products because as consumers, we're the ones creating the demand for it. It’s kind of like in that Field of Dreams movie, “If you build it, they will come.” Only it’s “If we buy it, they will make it.” Except this field stars soybeans and corn, not Kevin Costner. But I’ve seen his acting. He may be genetically modified too.
Dr. Food: Who is zees Kevin Costner and vhy does he dance vith volves?
Lentil Breakdown: Never mind the wolves! It’s the other animals I’m worried about (although according to the Natural Resources Defense Council, the gray wolf is endangered, so I’m worried about him too). But if meat is not organic, chances are it's from some big-agro industrial farm that uses rBGH growth hormones. According to the Center for Food Safety, 80% of cattle raised in the U.S. have been pumped full of hormones to increase body mass, and these hormones are not considered safe for humans or the environment. Some researchers think that hormones are creating early puberty in girls and an increased risk in breast and prostate cancers. And antibiotics are given to the majority of farm animals because they're sitting all cooped up in their own filth! And Jesus, the cheeses! The dairy and eggs are full of them too! These antibiotics create antibiotic-resistant bacteria in humans, which means when we’re sick and really need antibiotics, they won’t work anymore!
Dr. Food: Vell, how about a leetle tuna fish? That never hurt nobody.
Lentil Breakdown: Wow, Dr. Food, you are so last century! According to the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch, most canned tuna is on the “Avoid” list. For the price, the cafeteria's tuna probably isn't a "Best Choice." Not to mention it's full of mercury, so if you do eat it, you should limit your intake, according to EWG's Tuna Calculator.
Dr. Food: Vell, then eat some beans and call it a day.
Lentil Breakdown: I usually do eat some legumes like garbanzo or kidney beans, but I know they’re canned. Did the can's plastic lining contain Bisphenol A? Did you know that BPA is an endocrine disruptor and has been declared toxic to human health and the environment?
Dr. Food: Geez! Isn’t zees still better than eating at Mickey D's?
Lentil Breakdown: Yeah, if you skip the salad dressings with the hydrogenated oils and high-fructose corn syrup. I make my own from the cruets of olive oil and balsamic vinegar they have. That way I’m in control.
Dr. Food: Maybe it's time to throw caution to za vind and order something from za grill.
Lentil Breakdown: I've had the veggie burger that they put on the grill, and it's very tasty. Its meaty flavor is reminiscent of the flame-broiled Whopper. But I can tell it’s made out of soy, and for the price, it’s probably not organic, so it's a GM...oh...boy. Here we are. Right back where we started. It’s not easy being me!
Dr. Food: I see you have many issues!
Lentil Breakdown: And we haven’t even gotten to fair trade coffee, tea and chocolate or what farm-raised salmon is doing to the ecosystem! Did you know that the government is on the verge of passing legislation for allowing the first genetically modified salmon? Oh, and did I mention the plastic containers you put the salad in? How come everyone isn't thinking these thoughts? Where is the outrage? This is our planet and our food supply! I thought we were the change we'd been waiting for, but I'm still waiting! Doc, I'm exhausted. Would I be better off with my head in the sand? I try to be a conscious person, but all these choices are making me crazy!!
Dr. Food: I thought everything vee do is unconscious. You mean vee have choices? Now you tell me!
Lentil Breakdown: Of course we have choices. We can carry with us the Non-GMO Shopping Guide, EWG's Shopper's Guide to Pesticides and the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Seafood Watch Pocket Guide. We can eat less meat and buy dairy and eggs without rBGH growth hormones and antibiotics. We can think of ways to save plastic. We can read labels and web sites and try to know the origins and implications of what we buy. Yet all this makes me a buzzkill to be around, according to my former friends. How come I'm the enemy? I'm not even a PETA member!
Dr. Food: Vell, I see vee have years of verk ahead of us.
Lentil Breakdown: Is your couch made from organic cotton?
Dr. Food: For za price, probably not. I got it at IKEA.
Lentil Breakdown: Doctor, I’m afraid our time is up.

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Monday, January 31, 2011

Rib-tickling Pumpkin Coconut Soup



Did you hear the one about the pumpkin and the coconut?

A pumpkin and a coconut walk into a kitchen, and the pumpkin says to the cook, “Make us some soup.” So the cook says, “If you want to be a Martha Stewart recipe, I’ll make you really rich, then I’ll dump the stock.”


Ba dum bum!


A pumpkin walks into a kitchen with a coconut and says to the cook, “Make my friend and me some soup.” So the cook says, “If you want to be a Bernie Madoff stock, I’ll make you really rich, then I'll cook the books.”

Ba dum bum!

Whether you're busting a gut with uproarious laughter or bellyaching about how Lentil Breakdown needs a new writer (not to mention a new cook), you can see there are as many ways to put the funny in that joke as there are ways to put the flavor in this soup. Like a good joke, a good soup needs a strong setup, punchline and delivery. Think of the setup as the soup base, the punchline as the spice, and the delivery as your timing. (Note: a soup should never taste funny or it will make you a laughingstock.)

I made this pumpkin coconut soup by roasting the pumpkin in olive oil and sautéing onions, garlic and ginger in a little olive oil and butter. Since I tend to cook on the low-fat side, I only used water and light coconut milk. For a heartier, more flavorful soup, I suggest using vegetable or chicken broth. For a richer flavor yet, you could use regular coconut milk instead of light. If pumpkins aren't in season, try butternut squash. You can also substitute my trifecta of cumin, coriander and cardamom with curry powder or garam masala. And for more of a Thai taste, you could use lemongrass and fish sauce. Which reminds me.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a Thai cook? The Thai cook didn’t inhale lemon grass.

Ba dum bum!


Recipe

2 ½ pounds roasted pumpkin chunks or butternut squash, juice included

1 TBSP butter

1 TBSP olive oil + more to roast the pumpkin

1 large onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1-inch piece of ginger, minced

1 ½ tsp cumin*

1 ½ tsp coriander*

1/8 tsp cardamom*

1 ½ tsp salt

4 cups water** (+ more later to thin it out)

1 14 oz can light coconut milk

Shredded unsweetened coconut and cilantro sprigs for garnish

*You can use crushed seeds, but use less than powdered spices. Taste as you go.

**Vegetable or chicken broth can be substituted for water

Cut pumpkin or butternut squash in chunks or wedges, slather it in olive oil and sea salt, and roast it in a pan or two in a 400-degree oven until it is caramelized.

In a Dutch oven, sautée onion till soft, then add garlic and ginger. Add Pumpkin, spices, salt and water. In a few minutes, add the coconut milk. Cook for about 20 - 30 minutes over low heat. Taste as you go. Add water if necessary. When it's almost done, purée in a blender or food processor and put soup back in pot. Adjust seasonings if needed and cook a little longer if adding more spice. Garnish with coconut and cilantro.

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My Martha Stewart “Rustic” Tomato Tart

Bernie Madoff-inspired Cheater’s Lavash Crackers

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Ode to a Mom



I saw you nestled in my chai

With Cinnamon, that potent guy

Now I wonder where I’m from

Is he my dad, eh, Cardamom?

Monday, January 17, 2011

MLK and Cookies

It is not commonly known that the great Martin Luther King, Jr. had a ferocious sweet tooth. So in honor of his birthday, I have taken it upon myself to translate the subtext of some of his most powerful words into what I think was really on his mind. As one of this country's finest orators, civil rights leaders and proponents of equality, MLK (like Harvey Milk) was a man on a very sweet mission.

Excerpts of ML King’s “I Have a Dream” speech as reinterpreted by Lentil Breakdown:

“I have a dream today.” I have a craving for chocolate and vanilla.

“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred." Let us drink from a glass of milk while we eat a cookie.

“There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, 'When will you be satisfied?' We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities.” We won't be satisfied until our sweet tooths, screaming for sugar, can binge from the same cookie jars as Martha Stewart.

“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” but by the ingredients in their baked goods. FYI: my children use 70% Valrhona chocolate and the finest Madagascar vanilla beans.

“I have a dream today." I am dreaming about a fondant frosting of sugar and water that's cooked to the soft-ball stage, cooled slightly, and nonviolently beaten until it is an opaque mass of creamy equality.

“This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country cookie, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing icing.

"When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village kitchen and every hamlet oven, from every state bakery and every city coffee house, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children creations,

black men double fudge brownies and white men sugar cookies,

Jews

rugelach and Gentiles

Rice Krispies Treats

, Protestants snickerdoodles and Catholics biscotti, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Happy Martin Luther King Day!


Special thanks to Hotcakes Bakes for letting me shoot their cookies.